I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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