What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
