you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm getting married
To pizza
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
