if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
