Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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