I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
