Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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