I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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