Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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