Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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