You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
