turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
