it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize