one might say we're banned from that church
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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