using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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