I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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