I think im going to throw up on grandma
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
