How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
