when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
