i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
