Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
