My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
