U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
