I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
