If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
