Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
