He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
