I want to stick my p in your. b.
just tell him i said nine months
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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