She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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