How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
