I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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