We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
