Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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