is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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