Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
