oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
love makes seman taste better
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
