When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
