Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Enjoy the penises
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize