my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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