Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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