he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
