I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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