If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
