If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
