The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
