so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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