I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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