I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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