Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My vagina is very pro this idea
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
