Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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