just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
