Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
