Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
