Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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