how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize