i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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