k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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