I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
