Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
